Happy Monday! (and if it really is a happy Monday for you, feel free to bypass this post because I am whiny and grumpy and complainy)
No real changes in my weight to report, so yay. I ate horribly last week because I'm stressed out. I started taking the birth control, even though I really don't want to. It seems counterproductive to my cause. So, I'm frustrated. Also: I HATE MY JOB. I really don't want to be a phone slave anymore. I hate this job more and more each day. I am a talented, intelligent individual. I have a BS degree in executive business management, which I earned on my own, while working full time and busting my ass, yet the most I do all day is tell people what their piddly 403b account balances are and argue about why they can't take their money out (here's a hint, because it's meant for retirement you turd!). TWO PEOPLE have had nervous breakdowns. Actual, legitimate nervous breakdowns. This is also a source of frustration. Do you ever feel like you are supposed to be doing something more with your life? I'm not sure exactly what is it I was created to do, but it sure as shit isn't this.
I hate my attitude lately. I wish I could stop feeling like I'm entitled to have a baby and an awesome job. I wish I could stop focusing on what I don't have. It's been very difficult for me to not be envious of other people. What's funny is that I recognize how I'm acting and feeling, but I can't change it. No matter how much I hate feeling that way, I can't stop myself from feeling like I should be more successful, thinner, fertile, happier - you name it. I want to be happy with what I have. I want to enjoy this time in my life - and for the most part, I do. I love my husband (when I get to see him). SEE WHAT I DID RIGHT THERE? MUST. STOP. COMPLAINING.
Any advice to not feeling so crappy? Anyone looking to hire a snarky, smart lady to do anything other than pick up the phone?
Everyone go congratulate Blair on her fantastic job so far! She's feeling so confident that she's thinking of rocking a bikini this summer. The rest of you also look awesome and are waaaaaaay more positive than me today. I think it goes without saying that I am totally jelly of you. And I hate it.