Monday, March 15, 2010

McFatty Monday

Happy Monday! (and if it really is a happy Monday for you, feel free to bypass this post because I am whiny and grumpy and complainy)

No real changes in my weight to report, so yay. I ate horribly last week because I'm stressed out. I started taking the birth control, even though I really don't want to. It seems counterproductive to my cause. So, I'm frustrated. Also: I HATE MY JOB. I really don't want to be a phone slave anymore. I hate this job more and more each day. I am a talented, intelligent individual. I have a BS degree in executive business management, which I earned on my own, while working full time and busting my ass, yet the most I do all day is tell people what their piddly 403b account balances are and argue about why they can't take their money out (here's a hint, because it's meant for retirement you turd!). TWO PEOPLE have had nervous breakdowns. Actual, legitimate nervous breakdowns. This is also a source of frustration. Do you ever feel like you are supposed to be doing something more with your life? I'm not sure exactly what is it I was created to do, but it sure as shit isn't this.

I hate my attitude lately. I wish I could stop feeling like I'm entitled to have a baby and an awesome job. I wish I could stop focusing on what I don't have. It's been very difficult for me to not be envious of other people. What's funny is that I recognize how I'm acting and feeling, but I can't change it. No matter how much I hate feeling that way, I can't stop myself from feeling like I should be more successful, thinner, fertile, happier - you name it. I want to be happy with what I have. I want to enjoy this time in my life - and for the most part, I do. I love my husband (when I get to see him). SEE WHAT I DID RIGHT THERE? MUST. STOP. COMPLAINING.
Any advice to not feeling so crappy? Anyone looking to hire a snarky, smart lady to do anything other than pick up the phone?

Everyone go congratulate Blair on her fantastic job so far! She's feeling so confident that she's thinking of rocking a bikini this summer. The rest of you also look awesome and are waaaaaaay more positive than me today. I think it goes without saying that I am totally jelly of you. And I hate it.

4 comments:

Shahny said...

Oh wow I have been feeling like this A LOT! I also hate my job and I feel like I should be doing something more with my life... but what?! is the big question.

Advice I can give you to not feel so crappy: After work is over and done with, I go home and do not think about it. I jus try to focus have a good evening with my friends & family :)

Mrs. M said...

I was stuck in a rut like that a few weeks ago. I think part of it was due to the long, hideous winter we have had here. I suggest you go get a mani or pedi, spend some time with girl friends, do something fun! Count your blessings, they are there, sometimes they just hide!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

Hang in there, babe. Ruts & suckfests are definitely a part of life.

& I am SUCH A JEALOUS PERSON by nature. I always want more. Or different. Or "better." I don't know why.

But I do understand what you're saying.

aimerss said...

i know what its like to lose it at work. (and i know you know I know) AND what its like to have fantastic people surround you to drag you out from under your desk and tell you its ok. even when you yourself don't beleive it. but I have no advice, because sometimes I still feel like I'm under that desk.
well, maybe I do have one thing i can tell you.. sometimes just getting out of bed and thinking about one thing I'm excited for or looking forward to that day makes a Big difference! xoxoxo