Monday, February 22, 2010

McFatty Monday - In which I sanction Time Travel for this one time:

If there is one thing on Earth that I hate more than anything, it is stories/movies/ideas involving time travel. I ABHOR it. Especially when it happens without people knowing about it - like in Freaky Friday or 13 Going on 30. Time travel is one of the only things that gives me the creeps.

That, and orange cheese - but that's a post for another day.

Anyway, even though I cannot stand traveling through time, If I had the opportunity to hop in a Delorian and rewind to the weekend, I would do it in a heartbeat. The fate of my Monday morning would depend on it!! I would have traveled back, and after arguing with myself for going back on our agreement that we hate time travel and would NEVER EVER do it, I would smack the mini Reece's Peanut Butter cups (all 30 of them) out of my hand and force myself to take Harry for a walk instead. Then I would burn down the Taco Bell by the movie theater, so that I would not go there for my lunch break on Sunday. These actions would have saved me from the 2lb gain I experienced OVERNIGHT.

Would it be a little sick to say I think I can see the two pounds? My rolls look . . . rollier.

And since I would already be on a roll (no pun intended) with all the going back in time business, I would hop back in the Delorian and go back to about 2005, when the dumbass doctor I was seeing suggested that I go on seasonale (now seasonique) because it would "make my periods more manageable". I would punch him in the face, and tell past Mrs. Joe (who would be as equally pissed as the first past Mrs. Joe for time traveling, because this hatred runs deep people) that by "more manageable" the doctor really means "non existent". With that, I would hop back in my time machine and set a course for the present. I would probably end up in another dimension and be trapped for all of eternity because that is the kind of crazy shit that happens when you time travel and thus WHY I HATE IT SO.

So today's McFatty Monday is not going so well. For the sake of ending up in another dimension, let's just forget that I participate in McFatty Mondays for this one time and I'll be back with more encouraging results next week. Happy Monday McFatties!


Krista said...

It seems to be a theme that we have all jumped off the McFatty wagon this past week, and I think we should just admit the fact that we loved our McDonalds and Peanut Butter Cups and move on :)
Though, if I could travel back to my bowl of butter (with a little lobster mixed in) from last night, I would, cause seriously, that threw me over the edge of being beyond gluttonous!

Blair said...

I think we all had a rough week!!

but your post totally made me chuckle in about 5 different places. so thanks.

nicolesspirit878 said...

Like the other post everyone went MIA last week.

In a non- weightloss related comment , I can't stand any horse related movies. People think I'm pretty off for that thought.

Mrs.Joe said...

@Krista: I would travel back in time for your lobster butter too. I loooooove me some butter. @Blair: I'm glad I could make you chuckle. Even if I consider time travel to be a grave and dangerous subject. @Nicolesspirit878: I will not hold your horse related movie hating against you. I'm glad you can sorta relate :-)