Some Random Thoughts on this NSYNC video

Even though I am slightly embarrassed to admit that my friends and I watched this video over and over again when we were 16, I still get nostalgic for these guys. They just seemed like the perfect men. Especially Lance. We should have known that he was gay, he was just TOO perfect.

Now that I am a little more mature, watching this video makes me realize how blinded by love I was. Today, I am pondering the following:

1) Did Justin just come back from orbiting the moon before this concert? And why was his ADIDAS spacesuit 3 sizes too big for him?? The rest of the crowd seems to be wearing shorts and tees. Is he not sweltering in the spacesuit?

2) I know this was like 1998, but were camouflage overalls still cool? Were they ever cool?

3) What is the point of all of those hangy things off of JC's vest? It looks like he parachuted in. Maybe out of Justin's spaceship?

Hopefully I have distracted you from the fact that you will not get a picture of me this week. Mr. Joe and I have been a little busy and he hasn't had the time for photo shoot. So You'll just have to wait until next week when I return home from the happiest place on earth EEEEEEEEEEE. Will you miss me?

WANNA BE ROOMIES??????

Look what my awesome friend Amy sent me!!!!!:

http://perezhilton.com/2010-06-23-wanna-live-at-disney-world

I MUST LIVE THERE. Sadly, I can't currently swing the asking price. So, does anyone wanna go halvsies on a house with me??? I'll do dishes and laundry!

Mrs. Joe's Greatest Hits

So today. Oh Today, you started off pretty shitty. Nothing like a temp drop at 6:30 in the morning to make you feel defeated for the rest of the day. Kinda like POAS every morning. To bring you up to speed: I thought maybe by some miracle I ovulated right at the perfect time and Mr. Joe and maaaaaaaaybe created a baby Joe. Jury's still out for certain until AF comes, but she'll prolly be here soon, based on this morning's temp. Naturally, this caused a dramatic and weepy start to my day, where I cried (again) at my desk because WOE IS MRS. JOE.
And just to add some more dramatic flare, I put on one of my favorite sad songs to pepper my pain:


Then, Mrs. Rootbeer and my bestie Chrissy made me feel better. I was still listening to Hallelujah, but it was on repeat in the background while I took calls. I couldn't help but feel a little like I was on a reality show and that Hallelujah was the perfect song to enhance the drama that is my life. Then, I started to think about what the soundtrack of Mrs. Joe's Reality Show would include. I came up with a few songs:
The theme song would be:


It would definitely include, Soundgarden's "I knew I loved you" for my friend Ronnie, and "Movin' Right Along" from the Muppet Movie for Chrissy. I would throw in "Red Neck Woman" because even if I'm not a red neck, I am a touch trashy, so it would apply. "God Blessed the Broken Road" would make it, since it's my wedding song with Mr. Joe, but the song in his honor would be Denise William's "Let's Hear it for the Boy" because I always joke with him about that song. The last song on the soundtrack would be for baby Joe, because every time I hear it, I think about future child, and it brightens my day. Even if my temp drops to zero degrees:

How about you guys? What would be on your soundtrack? I would totally watch all of your reality shows. (Mrs. Rootbeer, remember our idea for the MTV show "20 Something and Barren"? Still a good idea!)

McFatty Monday

This time next week, I will be in the happiest place on earth!!!
So, no McFatty Monday next week. Just to warn you ahead of time, here is a list of things I intend to eat on this trip:
1) A mint chocolate chip hot fudge sundae from the ice cream shop on main street (while watching wishes)
2) A SWEET CREAM CHEESE PRETZEL. Specifically from the lunching pad in front of Space Mountain. Holy crap on a cracker are they delicious!
3) A pulled pork sammich from sunset at the studios.
4) Popcorn (natch)
So the next McFatty Monday post will probably be a grumpy one, because I will most likely gain 20 pounds. Every single one will be worth it. I will not be thinking about my sucky job or queer ovaries for a whole week.
Well, that last one is a lie. Disney always make my uterus ache. I will definitely not be thinking of my sucky job though. NOTHING on the is earth can make me miss work!
So on to the McFatty part of my post: Blair posted about recommitting, which was funny because I told you all 'bout my little slip last week, and how you would make fun of me if I quit now. On Saturday, Mr. Joe and I went to a graduation party for his aunt and it was the first time in . . . well, ever that people commented on how I looked skinny. So much so that I didn't believe them. either that, or I must have looked worse than I thought I was before because I am just not seeing "skinny" when I look in the mirror. I see "thinner than before", but not skinny. Sometimes, I think that maybe I'm not seeing what other people see when they look at me, but then I look at pictures taken of me, and I see a bigger girl than what I see in the mirror. I wish I could borrow someone else's eyes for just 5 minutes so I would know what to believe. I realize that I am my worst critic, but it's one thing to say that, and another to know it.
Anyway, this post is turning all negative and depressing and in 5 DAYS I WILL BE IN SWEET CREAM CHEESE PRETZEL HEAVEN!!
I will also have 5 more days of P90X behind me, and will feel that much better about myself every day I complete. I don't have any pictures to post yet, but I will get Mr. Joe to take one before we leave and I'll throw it up here sometime this week. I hope everyone had a successful week!

Thanks, Internets

I cannot tell you how welcome this Friday is! This week was hard for me for some reason. I lost my mojo for a little bit.
Yesterday, I thought about just giving up on P90X altogether. Remember I said I was going to start over? I was super close to just staying on the couch with a little (HA. Little! As if I would eat anything little!) bowl of peanut butter melted in the microwave with chocolate chips, crying over So You Think You Can Dance and being generally depressed about the state of my ovaries and sucky job. Really, really close.
But then?
The voice in my head was all like, "If you don't finish P90X, the Internet will know you are a quitter! The millions of readers you have will stop reading and write posts about what a loser you are on their blogs! Then, you will be fat with no blog friends!" My inner fat girl was begging me to heat up another bowl of PB&CC, but after being threatened with no blog friends and global humiliation, I decided to just go downstairs and do the damn workout.
I'm glad I did. I felt rejuvenated after. Like this last week of "woe is me" never happened (Is that how you say it? Woe is me? Sounds stupid.). I am picking back up where I left off and finishing my 90 days. So thank you internets, for the pressure you put on me to work out like a mad woman on a daily basis.
In other exciting news, one of the jobs I applied for called to set up a phone interview! The idea of a possible escape from the evil call center I work in now was invigorating! I was in a state of euphoria for the rest of the night! I'm really hoping this turns out to be a career changer for me, but if not, I have put my resume out for approximately 5 million jobs. Hopefully something else will stick if this is not THE ONE.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

McFatty Fail

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I sorta fell off the wagon this weekend and was still hungover. This week was hard for me for some reason. Monday through Wednesday was my P90X recovery week, which means I didn't really work out that much - just walking Harry and running errands. Thursday I started phase 3, but then Friday I had to work both jobs and didn't get home from the movies until 12. I was not about to work out for an hour at 12. I still got a good workout in at the movies, because I was an usher and we have stadium seating, so my ass was up and down those stairs all night long. AND I wore a sports bra, so we can kinda count that right?
Saturday was okay, it was chest and back day, so there were allot of push ups - but I was doing them!! AND I would start on my toes (and then promptly go to my knees lol)! Then came Saturday night. Oh Saturday night. We went out for Mr. Joe's friend's birthday in the city.

Let me just pause to say this: I love Mr. Joe's friends. From the moment we met, they have accepted me as though I had been friends with them for years. Their girlfriends and wives have also fit seamlessly into my life. I feel very lucky to get along with those girls, because its rare for me to have close girlfriends. I really only have two friends from high school, and those two are like my sisters. So, to find such great friends in the girlfriends of my husband's friends is super lucky.

Except for Saturday night. My "friends" decided that I don't ever have enough fun and that I needed to let loose that night, and so I did. So much so that I apparently made plans to go on a little casino trip with everyone and I had no recollection of it until Mr. Joe was talking about it yesterday. As in, I planned an entire trip without consulting myself. I also drunk texted James' poor cousin (who was probably very tired and did not need to know that I wanted to be "bffs with her" at that very moment) and all of my siblings. I then proclaimed my belief in Jesus to Mr. Joe and that I want to take the clomid next cycle. It was a very busy night for drunk Mrs. Joe.
Hence, there was no P90Xing on Sunday. Or yesterday. I was still recovering. Today is a new day though, and I think I'm just going to start the week over next week, pretending that this week never happened. I didn't gain anything though, so that's good.
Blair had a nice question about summer vegetables, but sadly I don't have any recipes to share. My meals lately consist of Lean Cuisines and tuna fish. Would anyone like to come to my house and be my personal chef? I could be like Oprah, without the millions of dollars. You could come over and cook for me and we could hang out and then the next time I get drunk I can bother you at all hours of the night!!
Any takers?

Better Now

I googled "the hills are alive . . ." chose "images" and this is what I found. Naturally, I found Julie Andrews' picture as well. This one just spoke to me more I guess :-).

Thank you all for your encouragement after I posted my temper tantrum. Your support, as always, means a great deal to me. I am better now.

For the most part, my change of mood came from a visit I had with Mr. Joe's cousin's grandmother last night. She has a very unique gift and also drops f-bombs. All of the things you would expect from a sweet Irish grandmother. She has given me so much hope that it has completely turned my funky mood around. Today, I received FANTASTIC, amazing news that has just solidified the faith that I have after last night's visit. Great, great things are happening.

In addition to her grandmother, Mr. Joe's cousin also let me borrow a book that she just finished reading - A Few Good Eggs by Julie Vargo and Maureen Regan. I'm only page 6 of the book (these pesky callers keep interrupting me, making me do work) but so far it is seems to be speaking directly to me (because, of course EVERYTHING is about me. MEMEMEMEMEME.).

You should read it. Or you should continue to stay tuned, because I am sure that I will be sharing my reactions to this book as I read it. Assuming these annoying people stop calling about their piddly annuities and let me read two sentences for Pete's sake!

The cherry on this good mood sundae would be if a marvelous new job offer fell in my lap and I could yell, "Suck it, Trebeck!!" into my headset. I'm crossing my fingers!!

And also, I ovulated on Monday, according to fertility frenemy, and we definitely did it that night. So I'm crossing my toes too, which also look like fingers.

I'm not fine

Most every call I take in this call center starts off the same:

"Hi this is {someone annoying}, I'm calling because {something unimportant}, how are you?"

Lately, it is taking everything in my being not scream "I'M REALLY FREAKING UNHAPPY, THANKS FOR ASKING!"

Today is not a good day friends.

First, I was late to work. Because of traffic. Traffic in which I had plenty of time to ponder the meaning of my life, and how I feel like I am going nowhere. Time to ponder the meaning of my dreams, including the most recent one where I was watching ultrasounds until I woke up. It occurred to me on my way into work today that the crazy coworker is having her big ultrasound today. That's how crazy I am. I subconsciously think about other people's big ultrasounds. Ultimately, my drive to work ended in tears. I really loathe my job and I'm tired of feeling as though I add no value to society whatsoever. Sadly, Mr. Joe and I rely heavily on my income, so I cannot leave without the promise of equal or greater pay. So, into the office I went, drying my tears and silently willing myself to SUCK IT UP.

Then, naturally, I was yelled at by clients all day. No one is happy with their retirement funds. Its inevitable that you will one day call in and yell at someone about your retirement account. When you do, think of me and be kind. All the while, I answered the H.A.Y. question with, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." I am not fine. I am hanging on by a thread here.
My teammates talk about how crazy coworker said she would be out of work for the rest of the week if she finds out she's having a boy, because she would be so upset. Of course, she texts us later to announce, "It's a girl!" Snip! went the thread I was hanging on. Of course. Of course this girl gets everything she wants.

I realize I am fortunate to have a job, which has provided me with infertility treatments, if I was not in denial of my obvious lack of baby making skills. I am fortunate to be married to Mr. Joe, who loves him some psychopath and puts up with my whining and bitching.

I don't want to be this bitter, nasty frostybox. I don't want to ache and yearn for something that comes seemingly easy to everyone but me. I wish I could wake up and be happy with my lot in life. Believe me, I am trying to find a job in which I am allowed to choose what time I go to lunch or when I can get up to pee. I've been looking, I promise. I know that I will not be here in this place in my life forever. For this day and this moment though, I am and it sucks.

McFatty Monday

It's my favorite day again!
Not really - but I figure if I keep saying it every week, one day I will come to love Monday as I love Saturdays. I have a feeling that might mean a change in career, but we'll keep working at it until then.
So here is my McFatty update: I am still at 150lbs after the plague, which gives me a pretty decent chance to make my 145 lbs goal by Florida, so I will maybe not look like a giant next to my tiny sister. Today is day 58 of P90X. I am already planning my next round after this one is finished. I will either do the classic version of P90X (there's a Classic, Lean and Doubles round. Lean is less lifting and weights and Doubles is double workouts for crazy people) or this new program that Beachbody is putting out, Turbofire. I think I just like the video they put together for it. The slow-mo gladiator music in infomercials always reels me in. It looks like it could be fun. Then I could do P90X again after that . . . and go on that way for the rest of my life. Or I could get really fat again and then start from scratch! OR . . .and how about this one - I could actually get KNOCKED UP and not be able to do crazy workouts for 9 months! I know crazy idea right?
Blair's post today made me hungry already. This is a good sign seeing as my appetite was gone when I was in the throes of the plague. I'm going to go eat breakfast now. Good luck everyone this week!

I have the plague.

Hello Internets! This post is mainly for my best friend Chrissy, who told me I was a blogging failure on Tuesday. This is odd, because I talk to her all day long on Gmail chat, so she knows everything that I could possible update on here already.

ANYWAY, I have the plague. I have had a crazy high fever and a stuffy nose and sore throat since Tuesday night. Yesterday I lefty work early, which I NEVER do. We only have PTO days here, no sick time, so I usually fight my illnesses while taking calls at work because I'll be damned if I'm going to spend my precious time away from work laying in bed sick at home. I had a really high fever that didn't break until this morning . . . and since I stopped hallucinating, I decided to come in to work for the second half of the day. Mr. Joe is not pleased. Oh well.

Probably what threw me over the edge is that I did P90X on Tuesday when I came home from work. I wasn't feeling that great, but it was my last day of resistance in month 2 and I just. wanted. to. finish.

Totally worth it in my opinion, because I am down to 150 as of today. Some of that loss might be from the plague, but I intend to keep it off. After this recovery week, I will take another picture - which I know you are all excited about AND I will be in the last month of P90X, which I'm finding hard to believe. I never stick with anything, and here I am, writing this blog all regular like and working out for an hour everyday for almost two months. I don't even know who I am anymore.

In TTC news, my fever/plague has totally messed up my chart. If I am following the same schedule that I had for the last two months, I would have ovulated today. I don't know because my temp was still up this morning. Not that it would matter anyway - there was no sexy time in the last 3 days. It's hard to feel sexy when you're dehydrated and choking on snot.

Our good friend Sean's father passed away on Tuesday. he had Alzheimer's and was sick for a really long time. I am terrified of going to the wake and funeral. It will be the first one since Mike died, and I don't know if I will be able to keep my cool. A few years ago, the father of one of the friends I grew up with died, and I was doing really well until I met her in the receiving line. I LOST MY SHIT. I felt awful for doing that to poor Jessica. That was before I knew what real loss felt like. Now, I don't know if I can be cool and keep it together.

Since this post is already really random, here is an adorable picture of my babies Harry (my German shepherd) and Wendy (the asshole cat):

Hopefully, I won't die from the plague and I'll see you all again soon!