Crossing everything over here . . .

because if it doesn't happen this cycle, this is really going to hurt.

For some reason this time around, clomid has been a pain in my ass. Or more accurately, a pain in my abdomen. I feel like my ovaries are ginormous rocks taking over my lower half. There doesn't seem to be enough room to accompany all of my organs anymore. And the hot flashes - last time I wasn't sure if I was having them or if it was just really hot. This time around, there's no second guessing if it's a flash or not. I start sweating like a hooker in church, which is awkward because they have me training with a nice guy this week and I am constantly taking layers off. Then, after about 20 minutes of burning alive, I start to freeze and put all of my layers back on. After 20 minutes of that, I have to get up because I'm barfy. I go through this cycle of hot, cold, barf, about a million times throughout the day, so I'm sure my trainer thinks I'm crazy.

All of that is a constant reminder of why I'm "suffering" (not really suffering, but it's pretty annoying) and has me at a new level of make believe. About 24 hours of my day are spent daydreaming about how I will tell Mr. Joe he's going to be a father, how we will tell other people, what colors we'll use in the nursery, names, middle names, announcements . . . on and on. The logical side of me knows this is dangerous, but the clomid-ridden hormonal side of me can't stop. It doesn't help that Mr. Joe seems to have BOTB too, even though he has no idea what he's talking about. Yesterday, he asked me if I was "on my cycle yet". I'm still not sure what he was asking about. The other day, he referred to my period as "my thingy" LOL. At this point, I just tell him what nights to show up. Today is CD10, which means Tuesday is O-day, so it will be a very busy weekend :-)

God I hope this works.