Monday, October 25, 2010


This is my 100th post. I imagined this to be a magical milestone in my blogging career . . . but I've got nothing. No pearls of wisdom. Nothing funny to say. No BFP or BFN. Not even a picture.

I'm stuck.

I decided if I don't bleed by this Friday, I will test. If not, we're taking a break. I will start P90X again, we will save the last round of clomid for another day. I need to give my ovaries, and my heart, a rest. Also, we're going to a wedding on 11/6 and if I am in the throws of another round of clomid I will most likely start a trashy brawl with some of the family members that will be there. As it is, I may start a fight anyway. I have yet to gain back my "filter" this month. Trust that if I end up with a black eye, I will post pictures. And not to worry - I won't ruin anyone's big day. I'll take it outside to the parking lot :-)

Remember the new job I get to start soon? Well, when they said they had to push the date back to November, the really meant December. 6th, to be exact. I have 30 work days left until I can escape this headset and cubicle. I have a little countdown going on to motivate me to keep going. I'm not going to lie - it's tough having to wait. Even with a date set for my departure, it feels like I'm never getting out! Just another lesson in patience. I feel like I am taking a senior level course in patience lately. I wish I could just graduate with a master's in it already.

The anniversary of my brother's death is hurtling towards me like an Armageddon-esque asteroid. I keep meaning to say something about him here, but I start to write and then end up with nothing usable. I think part of it is that I want to honor him by writing some amazing and poetic piece. . . but I am not really that great with words. I end up with a sentence or two about how my initial grief has turned into unrelenting regret and then I get all emo - like and weepy and who wants that? I thought this would be easier the further away the whole ordeal gets. It is not. I feel like I miss him even more.

So, in summary: I am stuck waiting for a decision to be made for me - will it be P90X or baby? I may or may not beat people up at a wedding in two weeks. I miss my brother. You've spent 100 moments with my mindless blurbs. I am grateful. <-------- Not sarcasm (I know I need to include a disclaimer when I am being sincere).


Hoping for our own Peanut said...

Happy 100. Thanks for adding some humor to my Monday.

Im crossing my fingers that youll be packing on the pounds while eating for 2 instead of dropping them with P90X. :)

PS-December 6th will be here SOON!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

Happy 100, m'dear.

& hoping that you won't be P90Xing anytime soon.

Mrs. S said...

::hands over flowers, wine, and chocolates::

Happy 100!

Im sorry that you're still suffering through your crappy job. Thankfully an end is in sight!

P90X scares the crap out of me - not gonna lie. You're brave!