REcap

Hello all,
Here is an update on my life in handy bullet points:

*My birthday was Thursday and I turned 28 years old. Which is old in my opinion, because it is pretty close to the 30, the age I expect to be in a career (not a call center) and have a child (of the human variety).
*I finished taking the Clomid. I am pretty sure that I experienced hot flashes, but they weren't horrible. I KNOW I experienced what some call "Clomid Courage" when I almost beat the snot out of a really nasty drunk girl at the Rascal Flatts concert I went to on Saturday. I still get so amped up thinking about it, I give myself adrenaline rushes. That asshole is lucky that people were holding me back, because I would have done some serious damage.
*Today I should ovulate, if everything goes according to plan.
*I have received numerous calls on applications I have submitted, so fingers crossed I find a new, responsibility ridden job soon!
*Mr. Joe has surprised me with another trip to Disney in February! We're staying in our time share and taking our friends Chris and Katie who are Disney virgins - which is the main reason that we're going again. I have had to convince everyone that this wasn't my idea because they think I'm crazy for going again. Which I am.
*I have managed to maintain my weight since I took a break from P90X. I am really happy that I've managed not to blow back up, but considering my actions foodwise and healthwise, I am surprised. I bet if I didn't take a break I would be even less. Assuming the clomid works, I will have to wait to work out for a few (or 9) months - so we'll have to wait and see what happens.

That's pretty much it. I'm not really prepared one way or the other if we get knocked up this time around. On the one hand it seems a tad irresponsible because we are planning things and trying to budget what little money we have now and it's hard enough without adding a baby to the mix. On the other hand, we're constantly told that we will never be able to afford children anyway so there's no time like the present. I struggle alot with the decisions we're making and I'm just hoping that they are the right ones. There are times when I think that my life right now has everything that I wanted in place before we had children. Sometimes, I'm overcome with the love I have for my husband and the small life that we have in our crappy house. I know that if I never have a baby, or move out of our shack, or find a new job that I will still be incredibly blessed. Those are the times when I think that God is telling us that we're not ready. Then I think, if I wasn't ready, WHY THE HELL DO I WANT A CHIILD SO BADLY??? I seriously think I have some chemical imbalance in my brain that causes my uterus to want to fill with children, but leaves my ovaries dark and empty. I guess we just wait and see from here.