Sorry I've been so quiet as of late. Work is crazy because the company whose disability claims I handle are planning to go on strike, so the would be strikers are grasping at straws to get on disability so they would be paid should they strike. Which means I am denying claims for things like bee stings and fevers, in addition to the people who are ACTUALLY disabled.
The good news is I have been working from home, which means I don't have to wear pants at work! It does mean that I have to answer the door when evangelists or lawn care experts come knocking, so I do have to wear some kind of clothing - but not pants so yay!
Today is a day off for me. I had an appointment yesterday with Dr. Kellie Martin (what was I calling my dr on here? I don't remember anymore) and she determined that BabyJoe is . . . wait for it . . .
8 FUCKING POUNDS.
Please pardon my French, but great googaly moogaly that seems like a giant baby. I know those estimates can be off, but the thought of an 8 pound baby coming out of my hooha has me rethinking my natural childbirth plan. I'm now thinking Ronnie's idea of knocking me out with a kick to the face is sounding pretty good.
Also, I'm ONE CENTIMETER dilated!! I realize that one measly cm is nothing, but I'm trying to get worked up over here so I go into labor before I give birth to a baby that rivals that one in TX. You know the 16 pounder? There's no coming back from 16 pounds.
So I called out today and I'm planning on walking all over creation and possibly getting a pedicure because my feet have seriously been neglected since about 3 months ago. I have already taken care of my lady parts via a wax last week. Word to the wise? Being pregnant makes you sweat a lot more, and if you're anything like me and you sweat in response to pain, you will end up looking like you are suffering from malaria by the end of your appointment. Which is to say, don't make plans to go out directly afterwards. Your crotch might look fabulous, but you will look silly.
Wanna see what I look like at 38 weeks?
Haha tricked you! Although this is an accurate depiction. Please note my lack of pants in this picture and my nasty feet. That's pretty much what I look like now, except I'm not wearing a turtleneck. I was too lazy to fix my drawing. I worked pretty hard on it for you and now I am going to take a nap. Right after I do Mr. Joe's laundry, because before he left for work this morning, he so kindly dragged out his hamper for me because he knows just how badly I have been aching to wash his clothes. I am such a lucky lucky lady.
Pray that I go into labor soon. My lady parts thank you!