I am going to Dethrone the Burger King

That cocky bastard has messed with the wrong fat kid.

If there is one thing on this earth that makes me want to hurl, it is orange cheese. Especially orange American cheese. Just typing the words makes my mouth all spitty.

I have been insatiably hungry today for some reason. I was not really satisfied with my breakfast this morning, and was really looking forward to lunch. For some strange reason, I wanted a whopper jr. This was no mere craving friends. It was a deep, definite, NEED for a whopper jr. - no lettuce, no pickles.

I ask you: Does that seem terribly difficult to deliver?

Apparently, because some total ASSHOLE decided to spoil my delicious whopper jr. by tainting it with their NASTY orange cheese. Sadly, I was unaware my whopper was tainted until I sat down at my desk and opened the wrapper. The RAGE bubbled up inside me like hot melty orange cheese hatred.

I realize this may not seem like a huge deal to you, but to me, orange cheese is MADDENING. There's not even a good reason for it to be orange! They COLOR it that way. Just gross.

Needless to say, being on Clomid has really made me an angry person. I seriously contemplated walking off the job and marching down to BK to smoosh someone's face in the disgusting atrocity they tried to pass off as a burger. Instead, I let my coworker eat it.

Maybe I'm in a mood because today would have been my last day here if this place didn't make it it's job to suck the life out of me. Maybe it's because today is the crazy preggo's last day before maternity leave. Maybe it's because I feel decidedly NOT knocked up.

Regardless of the reason, The BK should watch his back. That asshole is going down.

2DPO

Today I'm starting to feel a little less hopeful. For fun, (read: because I am a loser) I decided to do some review of the steps it takes to conceive. I can't help but feel a little discouraged at how everything needs to be in the right place to be successful. How the hell do the Duggars do it?
On top of that I have the most hideous UTI of my life. I forced myself to drink cranberry juice to help with the symptoms and hopefully get rid of it all together. I decided this morning that cranberry juice tastes like vomit to me. This revelation caused actual vomit to come up a little.

Speaking of vomit, guess what the cat did just before I was about to leave for work? The force of barfing threw the cat backwards. Poor kitty. Poor Mrs. Joe.

Somebody call the waaaaaaaaaahmbulance.

I'm a rebel

No McFatty Monday today. Not because I gained or anything, there just hasn't been a change this week and I haven't really been focusing on weight loss. I'm still stalking the McFatties that I normally comment on though. At least SOMEONE can focus on weight loss.
Remember the "wet" burrito though? At least I didn't gain. Thank God for small favors.

Instead!!! I will tell you about my weekend!!!

Friday night I worked at the movies until 11 and then drove to the Super Walmart to stand in line for New Moon. Don't judge me.

Saturday, we went to a wedding. The priest talked about finding everyday things erotic. Those were his exact words. It made us all a little . . .uncomfortable. I tried really hard not to cry, but since my brother became ill, I have a really hard time in church. It's as though all of my thoughts turn to Mike. Then I have to try really hard not to cry and I end up looking like a GLASS CASE OF EMOTION ala Anchorman. Awesome.

I debated with myself about drinking. Could I be knocked up? Did we have sex in time? I CAN'T REMEMBER!!! I didn't really want to jeopardize it if I am KU, so I just sipped champagne for the toast. I probably wouldn't have drank anyway, since I drove, so it wasn't that big of a deal. The food was delicious, the cake was AMAZING. Mint chocolate chip cake. Ingenious!

I locked my keys in my car and had to call AAA to open my door. Mr. Joe was not pleased.

Sunday, we went to Marshall's to pick up Mr. Joe's check. We ate at D'Angelo's. I felt barfy, and immediately thought it was because we must have made a baby. Then the nausea went away and I told myself I was overreacting.

Today, I am at work and one of the girls that had a nervous breakdown has let slip that she is pregnant. Her baby daddy already has a daughter, who he owes ALOT of child support on. We are all sad that she is with this loser again. We hope that he ends up leaving her because she would be much better off without him. I know it sounds awful, but it's the truth. It's also why I am not green with envy right now.

That's all I have for today. I know it was super exciting stuff. You're welcome!

Because I NEED to share my life with the internets:

This came in to the movies the other day and I was using my super sneaky skills to take a picture with my phone because it's proof of the crazy people that I have to deal with at the movie theater:

That man is wearing cat ears and skinny jeans, and he was about 50 years old.

Tomorrow I have my appointment with an RE. I am super barfy over this!! Wish me luck.

She called . . .

. . . during the ONE TIME I was without my phone all day!
She did leave a message though, saying that she agreed with me and not to take the progesterone again until after we meet. AT A "CONSULT". This gives me the throwups.
As much as I LOOOOVE being right, I think I preferred when Dr. H thought I was crazy and wrote off my worries as being nothing. Because if it isn't nothing, then it must be something.
So, to assuage my fears, I am doing what any normal, collected individual would do. . .

I will be googling for the rest of today and tomorrow.