McFatty Monday

Seeing as my girl Krista has to abandon McFatty Monday, I thought I would start up again - carry the torch so to speak. I've been following along with everyone's MM posts, just not posting one of my own.

So far, P90X is going along fine. I fell right back in, but I think I am going to repeat phase one because I was definitely phoning it in the first two weeks. I am slowly losing weight again, and I'm thinking about doing C25K with Mr. Joe. That makes three times I have mentioned running the C25K program and zero times I have actually done it. This time though guys - I mean business.

Another huge part of my weight loss - or lack thereof - is my eating habits. Both Mr. Joe and I suck at eating healthy. I have been trying to remedy that, but it's slow going. In my recent efforts to distract myself from babymaking, I have been becoming more domestic - I have cleaned and organized almost every closet in the house, our room is spotless and orderly (we live like adults now instead of frat boys!), I have taken over all laundry and cleaning detail, too. I have even been baking cookies, which those of you who know me irl know that it is no small feat to get me to create something that is edible. One time, I tried to make a peanut sauce and basically ended up eating peanut butter covered noodles for 3 days straight because I refuse to throw food out. EWWWW.

Anyway, I didn't mean to get off on a tangent, but my point is this: the next phase of my domestication is going to involve cooking dinner, and making lists and meal plans and all of that happy horseshit. Do any of you do this? What goes into planning out meals - and sticking to that plan? I'm looking for your expert McFatty advice. Hope everyone has a great week!

P90X it is.

I started af on Tuesday. At work, of course, so I couldn't really afford to cry and carry on like I did last month.

I cried a little anyway. Ironically, as I gazed out the window in an effort to compose myself, one of summer's last bumble bees was buzzing around. I heard the distinct smack as it flew into the window pane. Then again. Then again. "That's silly," I thought to myself, "why would you keep flying into the same spot after being (painfully) rejected 3 times?" I half giggled, until I realized that the bee was not the only one hitting the same obstacle over and over again. We've flown into the window several more times than the bee, each time the feeling the sting a little deeper.

ahhhhhhh this sucks and I hate it.

So P90x it is for a little while. We leave for Disney in 113 days, so that gives me plenty of time to tone up and look svelte for the hot February sun. I will look the sexiest I have ever been. I will research the book I want to write. I will drink beer. Maybe I'll finally start piano lessons again or pick up a camera or something. We still have so much to do with the house. As I looked around last night, I saw all of the projects I've been putting off because I wanted to be pregnant. There were things I wanted to do before all of this began. Maybe this is my sign to do them.

I'm going to try not to be low and melancholy about it all. This month is a tough one for me, as I've said about a million times before. Part of me thinks I always knew that this month would not be it. I'm sad, but not broken. I just need a break from this. I need to find a new doctor, one who maybe monitors patients on clomid instead of just writing a script and wishing them luck. I need to settle into my new job and work out a new schedule. I need to let go of some of the grief I am carrying around. None of that can be very conducive to making a baby.

Mr. Joe is not really on board with my break idea, so I will continue to chart (sorta) and we will still have sex. Not that we wouldn't have sex anyway, I guess what I meant was that he'll be timing sex. I won't because I will be too busy enjoying all of the new hobbies I will be taking on. And Tony Horton!! I'll be enjoying my boyfriend Tony Horton again.

I know I can't just turn off the baby brain I have. It will be there until I'm holding a baby (one that belongs to me, not just any old baby) in my arms. I'm pretty sure that once I beef up my fat hammy arms, I'll be able to push it to the back of my mind at least.

So. Be prepared for non-ttc dribble and other nonsense. Or be prepared to ignore me for a few weeks or months.

Just please tell me we'll still be friends and you won't all board the baby train and ride off into the sunset without me.

Stuck

This is my 100th post. I imagined this to be a magical milestone in my blogging career . . . but I've got nothing. No pearls of wisdom. Nothing funny to say. No BFP or BFN. Not even a picture.

I'm stuck.

I decided if I don't bleed by this Friday, I will test. If not, we're taking a break. I will start P90X again, we will save the last round of clomid for another day. I need to give my ovaries, and my heart, a rest. Also, we're going to a wedding on 11/6 and if I am in the throws of another round of clomid I will most likely start a trashy brawl with some of the family members that will be there. As it is, I may start a fight anyway. I have yet to gain back my "filter" this month. Trust that if I end up with a black eye, I will post pictures. And not to worry - I won't ruin anyone's big day. I'll take it outside to the parking lot :-)

Remember the new job I get to start soon? Well, when they said they had to push the date back to November, the really meant December. 6th, to be exact. I have 30 work days left until I can escape this headset and cubicle. I have a little countdown going on to motivate me to keep going. I'm not going to lie - it's tough having to wait. Even with a date set for my departure, it feels like I'm never getting out! Just another lesson in patience. I feel like I am taking a senior level course in patience lately. I wish I could just graduate with a master's in it already.

The anniversary of my brother's death is hurtling towards me like an Armageddon-esque asteroid. I keep meaning to say something about him here, but I start to write and then end up with nothing usable. I think part of it is that I want to honor him by writing some amazing and poetic piece. . . but I am not really that great with words. I end up with a sentence or two about how my initial grief has turned into unrelenting regret and then I get all emo - like and weepy and who wants that? I thought this would be easier the further away the whole ordeal gets. It is not. I feel like I miss him even more.

So, in summary: I am stuck waiting for a decision to be made for me - will it be P90X or baby? I may or may not beat people up at a wedding in two weeks. I miss my brother. You've spent 100 moments with my mindless blurbs. I am grateful. <-------- Not sarcasm (I know I need to include a disclaimer when I am being sincere).

McFatty Monday: Disney Edition

One of my favorite things about Monday (and probably my only favorite thing about Monday) is McFatty time. Here's a confession: I haven't gotten back into the swing of things since vacation. My boyfriend Tony Horton is probably missing me terribly. I'll be back soon baby, I promise!! The good news is that I haven't gained. The bad is that I stopped losing. But that will start up again soon, I'm sure. In the meantime, I would like to show you a little comparison of about a year: This was me in July 2009 -

I remember coming home from that trip and seeing myself for the first time as fat. UGH. I just hate this picture!!! here I am in the same shirt one year later though:

I know it's hard to see a difference, because we're sitting down, but there is a difference there. Still not 100%, but I'm working on it. After the last two weeks of P90X, I'm going to start on the Classic program. Anyone wanna join me (I'm talking to you Krista!!)

PS: I wish I was back in Disney!!!!

Hope everyone has a marv week. Be sure to read the fab McFatty Post by Metta this week.

McFatty Monday

This time next week, I will be in the happiest place on earth!!!
So, no McFatty Monday next week. Just to warn you ahead of time, here is a list of things I intend to eat on this trip:
1) A mint chocolate chip hot fudge sundae from the ice cream shop on main street (while watching wishes)
2) A SWEET CREAM CHEESE PRETZEL. Specifically from the lunching pad in front of Space Mountain. Holy crap on a cracker are they delicious!
3) A pulled pork sammich from sunset at the studios.
4) Popcorn (natch)
So the next McFatty Monday post will probably be a grumpy one, because I will most likely gain 20 pounds. Every single one will be worth it. I will not be thinking about my sucky job or queer ovaries for a whole week.
Well, that last one is a lie. Disney always make my uterus ache. I will definitely not be thinking of my sucky job though. NOTHING on the is earth can make me miss work!
So on to the McFatty part of my post: Blair posted about recommitting, which was funny because I told you all 'bout my little slip last week, and how you would make fun of me if I quit now. On Saturday, Mr. Joe and I went to a graduation party for his aunt and it was the first time in . . . well, ever that people commented on how I looked skinny. So much so that I didn't believe them. either that, or I must have looked worse than I thought I was before because I am just not seeing "skinny" when I look in the mirror. I see "thinner than before", but not skinny. Sometimes, I think that maybe I'm not seeing what other people see when they look at me, but then I look at pictures taken of me, and I see a bigger girl than what I see in the mirror. I wish I could borrow someone else's eyes for just 5 minutes so I would know what to believe. I realize that I am my worst critic, but it's one thing to say that, and another to know it.
Anyway, this post is turning all negative and depressing and in 5 DAYS I WILL BE IN SWEET CREAM CHEESE PRETZEL HEAVEN!!
I will also have 5 more days of P90X behind me, and will feel that much better about myself every day I complete. I don't have any pictures to post yet, but I will get Mr. Joe to take one before we leave and I'll throw it up here sometime this week. I hope everyone had a successful week!

Thanks, Internets

I cannot tell you how welcome this Friday is! This week was hard for me for some reason. I lost my mojo for a little bit.
Yesterday, I thought about just giving up on P90X altogether. Remember I said I was going to start over? I was super close to just staying on the couch with a little (HA. Little! As if I would eat anything little!) bowl of peanut butter melted in the microwave with chocolate chips, crying over So You Think You Can Dance and being generally depressed about the state of my ovaries and sucky job. Really, really close.
But then?
The voice in my head was all like, "If you don't finish P90X, the Internet will know you are a quitter! The millions of readers you have will stop reading and write posts about what a loser you are on their blogs! Then, you will be fat with no blog friends!" My inner fat girl was begging me to heat up another bowl of PB&CC, but after being threatened with no blog friends and global humiliation, I decided to just go downstairs and do the damn workout.
I'm glad I did. I felt rejuvenated after. Like this last week of "woe is me" never happened (Is that how you say it? Woe is me? Sounds stupid.). I am picking back up where I left off and finishing my 90 days. So thank you internets, for the pressure you put on me to work out like a mad woman on a daily basis.
In other exciting news, one of the jobs I applied for called to set up a phone interview! The idea of a possible escape from the evil call center I work in now was invigorating! I was in a state of euphoria for the rest of the night! I'm really hoping this turns out to be a career changer for me, but if not, I have put my resume out for approximately 5 million jobs. Hopefully something else will stick if this is not THE ONE.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!

McFatty Fail

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I sorta fell off the wagon this weekend and was still hungover. This week was hard for me for some reason. Monday through Wednesday was my P90X recovery week, which means I didn't really work out that much - just walking Harry and running errands. Thursday I started phase 3, but then Friday I had to work both jobs and didn't get home from the movies until 12. I was not about to work out for an hour at 12. I still got a good workout in at the movies, because I was an usher and we have stadium seating, so my ass was up and down those stairs all night long. AND I wore a sports bra, so we can kinda count that right?
Saturday was okay, it was chest and back day, so there were allot of push ups - but I was doing them!! AND I would start on my toes (and then promptly go to my knees lol)! Then came Saturday night. Oh Saturday night. We went out for Mr. Joe's friend's birthday in the city.

Let me just pause to say this: I love Mr. Joe's friends. From the moment we met, they have accepted me as though I had been friends with them for years. Their girlfriends and wives have also fit seamlessly into my life. I feel very lucky to get along with those girls, because its rare for me to have close girlfriends. I really only have two friends from high school, and those two are like my sisters. So, to find such great friends in the girlfriends of my husband's friends is super lucky.

Except for Saturday night. My "friends" decided that I don't ever have enough fun and that I needed to let loose that night, and so I did. So much so that I apparently made plans to go on a little casino trip with everyone and I had no recollection of it until Mr. Joe was talking about it yesterday. As in, I planned an entire trip without consulting myself. I also drunk texted James' poor cousin (who was probably very tired and did not need to know that I wanted to be "bffs with her" at that very moment) and all of my siblings. I then proclaimed my belief in Jesus to Mr. Joe and that I want to take the clomid next cycle. It was a very busy night for drunk Mrs. Joe.
Hence, there was no P90Xing on Sunday. Or yesterday. I was still recovering. Today is a new day though, and I think I'm just going to start the week over next week, pretending that this week never happened. I didn't gain anything though, so that's good.
Blair had a nice question about summer vegetables, but sadly I don't have any recipes to share. My meals lately consist of Lean Cuisines and tuna fish. Would anyone like to come to my house and be my personal chef? I could be like Oprah, without the millions of dollars. You could come over and cook for me and we could hang out and then the next time I get drunk I can bother you at all hours of the night!!
Any takers?

McFatty Monday

It's my favorite day again!
Not really - but I figure if I keep saying it every week, one day I will come to love Monday as I love Saturdays. I have a feeling that might mean a change in career, but we'll keep working at it until then.
So here is my McFatty update: I am still at 150lbs after the plague, which gives me a pretty decent chance to make my 145 lbs goal by Florida, so I will maybe not look like a giant next to my tiny sister. Today is day 58 of P90X. I am already planning my next round after this one is finished. I will either do the classic version of P90X (there's a Classic, Lean and Doubles round. Lean is less lifting and weights and Doubles is double workouts for crazy people) or this new program that Beachbody is putting out, Turbofire. I think I just like the video they put together for it. The slow-mo gladiator music in infomercials always reels me in. It looks like it could be fun. Then I could do P90X again after that . . . and go on that way for the rest of my life. Or I could get really fat again and then start from scratch! OR . . .and how about this one - I could actually get KNOCKED UP and not be able to do crazy workouts for 9 months! I know crazy idea right?
Blair's post today made me hungry already. This is a good sign seeing as my appetite was gone when I was in the throes of the plague. I'm going to go eat breakfast now. Good luck everyone this week!

I have the plague.

Hello Internets! This post is mainly for my best friend Chrissy, who told me I was a blogging failure on Tuesday. This is odd, because I talk to her all day long on Gmail chat, so she knows everything that I could possible update on here already.

ANYWAY, I have the plague. I have had a crazy high fever and a stuffy nose and sore throat since Tuesday night. Yesterday I lefty work early, which I NEVER do. We only have PTO days here, no sick time, so I usually fight my illnesses while taking calls at work because I'll be damned if I'm going to spend my precious time away from work laying in bed sick at home. I had a really high fever that didn't break until this morning . . . and since I stopped hallucinating, I decided to come in to work for the second half of the day. Mr. Joe is not pleased. Oh well.

Probably what threw me over the edge is that I did P90X on Tuesday when I came home from work. I wasn't feeling that great, but it was my last day of resistance in month 2 and I just. wanted. to. finish.

Totally worth it in my opinion, because I am down to 150 as of today. Some of that loss might be from the plague, but I intend to keep it off. After this recovery week, I will take another picture - which I know you are all excited about AND I will be in the last month of P90X, which I'm finding hard to believe. I never stick with anything, and here I am, writing this blog all regular like and working out for an hour everyday for almost two months. I don't even know who I am anymore.

In TTC news, my fever/plague has totally messed up my chart. If I am following the same schedule that I had for the last two months, I would have ovulated today. I don't know because my temp was still up this morning. Not that it would matter anyway - there was no sexy time in the last 3 days. It's hard to feel sexy when you're dehydrated and choking on snot.

Our good friend Sean's father passed away on Tuesday. he had Alzheimer's and was sick for a really long time. I am terrified of going to the wake and funeral. It will be the first one since Mike died, and I don't know if I will be able to keep my cool. A few years ago, the father of one of the friends I grew up with died, and I was doing really well until I met her in the receiving line. I LOST MY SHIT. I felt awful for doing that to poor Jessica. That was before I knew what real loss felt like. Now, I don't know if I can be cool and keep it together.

Since this post is already really random, here is an adorable picture of my babies Harry (my German shepherd) and Wendy (the asshole cat):

Hopefully, I won't die from the plague and I'll see you all again soon!

Be kind to me internets

Happy McFatty Monday!

True to my word (and a tiny bit late), here are my day 39 of 90 photos. First lets remember day 1:

Now I wish I had Mr. Joe take my day 1 picture because I know you are expecting something amazing, and I think you will be disappointed because you can't really see the tubbiness in this picture. Trust me, there's more tubbiness than what you think you see. Lets examine the picture a little closer shall we?

I tried to blow it up to call attention to the fatter parts. It's hard to see, but trust me its there. Now onto day 39 (please be nice to me!):

Here I am from the side:

I know it looks like I'm sucking in. It might be because I am. Don't judge.

Here is proof that there is less ham and more muscle. And that I am a huge dork. The faces I am making in these pictures are ridiculous. I would crop my face out if I wasn't so lazy. It takes me too long to upload photos and I'm at work and don't feel like it.

So there it is. I don't see a huge difference, but I know its there. I'm upping my cardio so I burn off my fat by my Florida trip, which is in one month and 2 days officially. I'm hoping to be thinner so I don't look like such a moose next to my thin skinny minnie sister. Trust me, you'll see what I mean. I hope everyone had a great week, and that continues into this week!

Pictures - sorta

Remember when I said I would post a pictures with my weight? Well . . . I still haven't taken the pictures yet! Truth be told, you can't see whole huge difference yet. The p90x boards all say that the biggest change came around day 60, and I'm just on day 36 today. You can see a difference in my arms, in that there is now a muscle where there used to be hamminess. It's hard to take a picture of my arms and whatnot in the mirror, and so I will have to enlist Mr. Joe to help. He's been hanging out at his part time job the last couple of nights though so we haven't been able to schedule a photo shoot :-) . . . I know - excuses, excuses. I swear it's coming though. I promised, so all two of you that are interested, fear not. You will see my meaty (not as hammy) arms soon enough. In the meantime, here is a picture of my new haircut:

It's a dark picture, but you kinda get the idea. My hair is shorter. I really think the headset makes the look complete, don't you? And here's picture of my brand spankin' new bracelet that came in the mail yesterday from my bloggy friend Mrs. S:

It's a handmade IF common thread bracelet. The idea started here, and Mrs. S wrote about it here. I love the idea of having a secret sign to let other infertiles know that we are in the same boat. My bracelet came with a really sweet card, which I think made Mr. Joe jealous because he was really interested in where the card came from, and why I was getting a card in the mail. I told him it was because I am cheating on him with my bloggy friends. Anytime I say the word "blog" he rolls his eyes at me. If he only knew of the headache writing this blog and reading your blogs saves him, I'm sure you would all get cards in the mail too. I really appreciate the support and friendships I have found through writing here and I would like to pay it forward as well, so if anyone is interested in a bracelet from me, shoot me an email and I'll send one out to you. I know many of the 4 people that read my blog are not infertile, so if you shoot me an email, I'll send you some cookies or something. Maybe we should make a bracelet for fertiles that lets infertiles know that they promise not to tell them to relax or ask when they will start having babies! What do you think? Talk it out.

Also: Today is CD1! AF made her very own appearance after just 45 days, which is an improvement over 99 days before I had the hysteroscopy. . . I will consider this progress!

Hopefully, I've successfully distracted you from the fact that I am lame and have not (yet) followed through on my promise. Soon!

McFatty Monday

Hello! Happy belated Mother's Day moms!
Did I say last week that this would be my 30 day mark on P90X? I'm too lazy to read my last post. If I did, then I was lying and I'm sorry. 30 days is this Thursday, so NEXT Monday I will show you my (hopefully) less flabby ass. Actually, what I am really hoping for out of P90X is less hammy arms and smaller boobs. There's only like one dimple in my ass, so I'm not as concerned about that as I am about my rack giving me black eyes when I run the 5K I signed up for in 2 weeks. AND if I get enough speed, will my hammy arms cause me to get lift and go airborne? I think It's possible people. Running is a dangerous sport. Hence, I have avoided it until now. If I stick with the P90X for two more weeks though, I might be ok. I have definitely noticed definition in my arms. There's something under all of that ham after all! On Friday, I did one push up ON MY TOES instead of my knees! I couldn't do any more than one, but that is ACTUAL PROOF that something is happening. Oh Tony Horton, if you can help me get rid of my hammy arms, I will love you for the rest of my life. Of course, I might love you forever anyway, 'cause you're so darn cute! I still haven't weighed myself, but I feel different. On Saturday, Mr. Joe and I went to his mother's cabin in Vermont to clean it up. We had SO MUCH to do up there.
I impressed Mr. Joe and his cousin because I was able to move alot of the heavy trees out of the way BY MYSELF! I can feel myself getting stronger.
On the way home, we stopped for dinner and it took everything I had not to eat the ice cream sundae that the table ordered. It looked AMAZING, but I resisted! I just keep telling myself that I will look and feel much batter on day 30 if I can just keep it up.
Thats all for now. I have pictures from VT that I'll post, in case anyone is interested in purchasing some land with a cute little cabin in Vermont.
Also: Please encourage Blair this week. She is doing a FABULOUS job!
Have a lovely week McFatties!!

Frustration Friday

I thought I would come up with a new thingy (you know a thingy - like McFatty Monday but not as cool cause I'm the only one participating) for friday. It's call Frustration Friday, alternatively titled EFF You Friday:

Firstly - the dbag I was just speaking with at work wished me a happy mother's day. WHO DOES THAT? It was like a poke in the eye! I had to control the snark when I said "Oh you too! douchebag!"

And secondly, what the hell is up with Fertility Frenemy??? First, I had cross hairs on CD16. Then, they took them away because my temp is all over the place. Now, they think I maybe ovulated on CD30? So much for magically turning normal. The signs for ovulation were all there. I even had a positive OPK. Isn't a lack of whatever hormone causes a positive OPK the cause of PCOS? Why did my doctors never ask me to chart?

Also: WHO WISHES BARREN BETTY A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY?????? I cannot wait to rush home (after working at the movies tonight) and do Core Synergistics with my P90X friends. I bet they would never take my cross hairs away. Any opinions on why my chart looks so screwy?

I can push myself back up!

Happy Monday friends!

I didn't weigh myself again this week. I've been doing so well with P90X that I'm afraid if I don't see lower numbers that I'll get discouraged and stop. I'll weigh myself next Wednesday, because that will be day 30 and I'll take another picture and post it for all of the internets to see again.
Even though I don't have actual numbers to go off of, I can feel a difference. For one, I can do a girlie push up again. I know, it's pretty pathetic that I was unable to do one before. There was alot of hamminess on my arms then I care to admit. But now, after 3 rounds of kickass Yoga X, I can do 10 girlie push ups until I get tired! I also feel firmer. My arms feel the slightest bit tighter. Yesterday, I worked out in just a sports bra and shorts and I let one of my friends see me like that. All huge differences to me, and so I am excited about continuing.
I can't tell you how much fun I have while I'm doing the workouts. I LOVE this plan friends. I wish you could all come over my house and do it with me, but you'd probably be creeped out by my creepy basement gym. It's still just as difficult as it was on day one, but only because each day, I push myself to do something more. I wish I could be in the next infomercial!! And meet Tony Horton because seriously, for 50 -something year old, he is delicious.
Also delicious? Taco Bell. To answer Blair's question, I try really hard not to eat fast food, but sometimes I can't help myself. Taco Bell as their own "drive through diet" plan - and it's pretty good. The one place I try to avoid with my entire being is McDonald's because I am a sucker for Big Macs. Unless there is orange cheese on said Big Mac. Fast food melty orange cheese is the Soapscum Avenger's kryptonite.
Good luck this week everybody!

McFatty Monday

Happy Monday McFatties!

I am on day 11 of the P90X and I think it's going really well. It's actually a fun workout. Don't get me wrong - it's really hard! - but the variety of moves that they do and the really cheesy things that Tony Horton says makes the hour go by like nothing at all. It's only been 11 days, but I feel like I'm changing. I hope it's not all in my head. Mr. Joe's been keeping up with it too and so I think by the time we go to Florida we will be one HOTT (with two Ts!) couple. The toughest workouts to do are Yoga X and Legs & Back.
Yoga X was yesterday and reminded me of the time that I went out and partied one Friday night, and then the next morning I decided to go to Pilate's with my bestie Ronnie. About half way through the workout, while we were in some ridiculous pose where we bend over and look up, I hissed over to Ronnie "I think I'm still drunk!" and promptly fell over. Yesterday was much of the same, except this time I was sober. I never thought people could get so sweaty and out of breath by just bending! By the time I was done I was really gross looking.
Today is Legs & Back, and the 2nd hardest workout I have to do. The way I see it, when you work out your arms, it's not as bad because you can still get up and do things when you finish. Your arms are sore, but you can function without them (mostly). When you work your legs, it's really hard to move after. Especially if you have to walk up a long flight of stairs out of the basement where your "home gym" is. This workout has alot of pull ups in it too. I cannot do a pull up to save my life. Literally, if someone were holding a gun to my head demanding I do a pull up or be shot, I would be toast. You're allowed to use a chair to rest your legs on if you can't do it on your own, but pull ups are always done right after you bust your rear end working your legs so they're not much help. The majority of the time, I end up laughing at myself and have to pause the dvd. Laughter burns calories though, so I guess that's okay.
I didn't weigh myself this morning because I was getting a little upset with the numbers because they weren't really moving. Rather than start out my Monday in a bad mood (that would undoubtedly be added to today at work), I just decided to forgo it. My pants fit and I don't feel as hammy so that's good enough for me. I think I'll wait until next Monday to weigh in - I know you're all excited so stay tuned!!!

7 days down, um 83 to go!

Today is my rest day on P90X. I don't feel ripped yet, but I'm going to stick with it. It's mostly fun to do, if you like to be sweaty and have all of your fat jiggle around while you do endless squats and punch the air. Who doesn't like that?

At any rate, I definitely need to keep it up, at least until I lose my hammy arms. They're becoming hazardous to my health: Yesterday's workout was Kempo, which is a kind of martial art I think. It involves kicking and punching all Karate Kid style - and I'm pretty sure I can now defend myself, should I ever again be pretty and slender enough to attract an assailant. Anyway, it was close to the end of the workout, and we (by 'we' I mean myself and my cool new trainer Tony Horton and his band of workout goons) were squatting and punching the air. I was really getting into it. I was kicking air ass and taking names! Suddenly, the move changed from a jab to a cross, and when I furiously punched the air, my fat hammy arm KNOCKED ME IN THE FACE. I think I have a slight bruise.

Also? At the end of the workouts, they sometimes have advertisements for beachbody.com, which is the website that P90X is offered through. It's a bunch of fit people saying that they're there to support you online and blah blah blah. Towards the end of the commercial, it cuts to different people saying "I'm beachbody" and then it shows a large group of people on the beach (duh) shouting, "We're beachbody!" or something along those lines. I tried to take a picture of it:

Can you see why this disturbs me? Who is that random old lady in the neon green shorts, and how does her body qualify as a 'beach body"? Maybe she's only on day 7 too.

McFatty Monday - the one where I follow through on something

Happy Monday McFatties (please don't take offense, it's a term of endearment, I swear!)

So, last Tuesday I said that I was going to post a picture of my haminess so I would be motivated to stick with my plan. . . so since some of you (and Blair) have done it, here's mine:

Please pay no mind to the garbage behind me, the room we keep our mirror in is the guest/onedaynursery/putallofmybrother'sstuffinthere room and it's a disaster right now. I don't like how I look anymore. The other day, some high school friends posted old pictures on facebook from when we were all younger. Look how skinny I was then:

Don't you love my bangs? They started at the middle of my head. This was right after my bestie advised me that I needed to grow them out or I would never have a boyfriend ever. She changed my life with this advice.

Couch to 5k is going . . . ok. I need new running shoes because I feel like I am running barefoot. I also started P90X on Wednesday. Mr. Joe ordered it because his brother and cousins all did it and said it was awesome. So far, I have been pretty challenged by it. By challenged, I mean I wake up in the morning feeling like (p diddy?) I was hit by a truck and that I might have internal bleeding, but I'm taking that as a good sign. I like it better than the 30 day shred, because the trainer (Tony Horton) is not mean like Jillian. He's actually pretty cheesey, and I love cheese! There's like 12 workouts (I don't the actual number, but its more than 3) so I won't get bored and Mr. Joe is also doing it so we can motivate eachother. I also decided that I wasn't going to eat ice cream until our trip to Disney in June. I really wanted it on Saturday because it was such a crappy day and I could have used the pick me up, but I stayed strong because I imagined how good I will look in June if I could just make it until then. I'd like to say that that alone worked, but really it was because I was too sore to move off of the couch to go out and get it. Another bonus of P90X! The only down side of the video is on a few of them there's this blonde chick that I want to punch in the face. Other than that, I pretty confident I can stick with it for 90 days. I'm not sure if I will look like a model at the end of those 90 days, but at least I'm moving around after all of the weeks of looking for something to do!

Hope everyone has a great week!